Close Relations

Day Ten of NaBloMoPo and I am late! Sorry! I will get this up before midnight in Austin, though -- so it still counts!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012
Do you live close to your family?

The short answer - Yes. Sorta. And not at all.

The long answer - I grew up in the very small town (village?) of Rittman, Ohio. I knew, growing up, that I wanted to move away. Don't get me wrong -- I have amazing memories of that little town. It was a great place to be raised in the late 70s/early 80s (so dating myself here). We knew everyone in our neighborhood (and probably the six surrounding ones, too!). Our street was this picture-perfect suburban space where the kids were always out riding bikes, or playing "kick the can" in the backyards or catching lightning bugs. And, I had this great sense of acceptance in Rittman. I rarely got picked on for being different (more so in middle and high school but never in elementary, when it really counted) and most people knew me or at least knew my story. I was the girl in the wheelchair. And I always had this feeling like the majority of the town looked out for me (which is true when 3000 of them donated blood in my name before I had a huge series of operations in 1987).

Also, everyone in my family lived in Rittman, Ohio besides two sets of aunts and uncles and three cousins. In my graduating class of 88, I was related to 4 people. I grew up with my paternal grandparents living two streets over. My aunt and her family lived just one street over. My maternal grandparents were in walking distance. And come on, it's a small town. Everyone was nearby.

But, Rittman is small. It lacks the diversity and opportunities you get in a larger town. And, there wasn't much "to do" there, growing up. I knew that in order for me to gain the most independence, I needed to get away from the cocoon that is Rittman, Ohio. And, as I posted previously, I knew I needed to get away from my father.

I moved to Columbus, Ohio in 1997. I was less than three hours from Rittman. It was a pretty big step for me, because I always assumed I'd just end up near Akron or Cleveland (much closer to "home). I started at college two days after I moved and got my first ticket on my first day of commuting to class because rushhour was awful and I was speeding near campus to get to my class on time. We didn't have rushhour in Rittman, Ohio. We only had five traffic lights (two of which have since been removed).

I lived around the Columbus area until 2007, when Mark was offered a job in Austin, Texas. I always wanted to move South, because winters with snow and a wheelchair are a huge inconvenience. I would practically be a shut-in until all of the snow and ice melted because the parking lots and sidewalks were always treacherous to me. However, I never in my life thought I would move to TEXAS.

But, we did. And the closest relative was my oldest sister, Jill, who lived in Houston -- three hours away. When Mason started school, we knew no one in Austin, so his emergency contact number listed two people -- my sister, Jill, and a co-worker of Mark's who also lived in Houston. This was a HUGE step for me -- moving away from ALL medical professionals I knew and trusted. Having to FLY home for an emergency. This was even more of a big deal for me because Mark started to travel for work ALL. OF. THE. TIME. 3-4 days out of 7, he was not usually in Austin, Texas.

We survived and made amazing friendships with so many great people who quickly became our second family. And last December 5 (Mark's birthday!), my mom moved in with us after selling my childhood home (the ONLY house I ever lived in until I moved to Columbus). She knew she would move to Texas since 2 out of her 3 daughters live here and she, too, needed to get away from the cold and snow. Originally, she had suggested moving somewhere between Austin and Houston, until we showed her that there really ISN'T anything between Austin and Houston. She didn't want to move to Houston because she didn't want to evacuate for hurricanes (which my sister has had to do twice -- once to our house, which was a blast, except for the whole worrying-if-their-house-was-going-to-be-destroyed-thing). So, she started looking for places in the Austin area when Mark suggested she move in with us. Yes, he will even say it was all his idea.

So, now, the closest relative (besides Mark and Mason, of course), is just four rooms away. Until we move into "the big house" once we sell our current one (which we will be listing very soon).

Sorry this was so long. You could have stopped reading after the short answer!

Staying Put

A few months ago, my husband took a job with a very "Magical" company that was the perfect fit for our family. We love going to the Most Magical Place on Earth, so working for that same company? Had to be magical and... kismet. Which it was. We got free passes and discounts. My husband was spoiled with all sorts of wonderfully free merchandise. It was perfect.

Except... it really wasn't. We were supposed to move away from our beloved Austin, Texas, where we have lived for over four years to South Florida. While I always wanted to live in Florida, I never really wanted to move to Miami/Ft. Lauderdale/Boca Raton.

It got really depressing, searching realtor.com every day, looking for the perfect house. For us, the perfect house has always been one that we built. So, moving into one that could possibly be older than we were would be a new adventure, right? Well... it could be... if any of the houses weren't still stuck in the 80s. Seriously, we were going to move into the Golden Girls house... but without Rose to make fun of.

My husband traveled. A lot. And one weekend, I joined him in South Florida. We had met an AMAZING real estate agent (seriously -- if you know of someone moving there, I'll share her information -- she was a gem!), had some amazing sea food, and realized that what we thought were mojitos are NOTHING compared with what they make in Miami!!! We toured plenty of houses. Some seemed like if we squinted really hard, we could see their potential. Who cares if there was a loch ness monster living in the pool and that the air conditioner was archaic? It had character.

We had made the decision NOT to place an offer on a house in Florida until we sold our house here. Which still hasn't happened, almost 150 days later. We spent the entire summer making our beds, leaving the house in picture-perfect-viewing-ready condition. Which wasn't necessarily easy when we had a plethora of swim meets that started at 6:00am.

Then, my husband, who is freakishly healthy, got sick with walking pneumonia. Somewhere between Puerto Rico and Miami. And he couldn't come home straight away. When he did arrive, he looked dead. It was awful. That started the revelation that neither one of us were getting much sleep. Through out the night, I'd bolt up, out of bed, with a new concern about The Move.

And we never really got a chance to talk about it until three weeks before we were all supposed to move six states away (I counted Texas twice, since it's so darn big!). We had originally planned on him moving down without us, until our house sold. A mortgage and a rent wouldn't be ideal, but we could make it work. Except he was traveling all of the time with work, that visiting him would be next to impossible. So, we decided to just ALL move down and rent, while our home sat, waiting for it's new owners to fall in love with it.

I found a nice rental property. We bought our son his uniform for his new school. He read all of the books on that school's summer reading list. Then, we couldn't move into that rental. So, we found another rental, different school, different uniform colors, different reading list. The poor 12 year old spent most of his afternoons reading these books in order to have time to finish the reports on them.

Two weeks before The Big Move, my husband and I talked for a long time. We both had been keeping quiet about our own anxieties and worries concerning the move. The company was Great! and Magical! And we had FREE TICKETS!!!! However, we would move to Miami and he would be flying all over the country (including our US territories!). We missed each other. We missed being our family. Suddenly, it wasn't that magical of a job.

Luckily, a new job fell into place. Right after we had said most of our goodbyes and, more importantly, packed away our blender, this amazing opportunity arose. With NO travel (something we haven't experienced in 4 years!). IN Austin. We wouldn't HAVE to say goodbye. We wouldn't HAVE to spend $100,000 on renovations to bring a sad, old house modern conveniences like having a SINK in the BATHROOM.

So, he accepted it. And we shared the wonderful news that we were going to stay here with everyone. And we slowly unpacked the blender. We still remain living in a house full of moving boxes because we still wish to sell our house and move into a new, bigger one (my mom moved in with us last December, so we need more room). He started his job this week and I see a new side to this man that I fell in love with so many years ago. He's happy again. And everything is stable, because we KNOW where he will be in the next week.

We are staying put. And we couldn't be happier.